I can hardly breath through my anger.

Honestly, I hate to be the one to feel sorry for myself - but sometimes its all a person can take.
We have spent thousands of dollars registering with private adoption agencies only to never have that investment pay off for us, then we spend thousands on a private home study because we cannot get CAS to do one for us for free (they are not accepting any couples that want to adopt Babies). Then we decided to shell out thousands ($$$$) for an international adoption (cause honestly it seems like that is our only shot at realizing our dreams)... Then after mailing in the final check for this international agency (even though we are years away from getting our little girl from Vietnam - they expect payment) we get the call from CAS regarding "Sadie". So all said and done we have spent well over $16,000.00 and we are still babyless - not to mention what we spent on fertility treatments (at least $20,000 - but I stopped counting) - again this was all for nothing.
So today is the cherry on my cake!!! After consulting a lawyer last week regarding "Sadies" case....a lawyer whom I might add did not help us in the least - only rained on our parade, this man had the nerve to send us a bill for $525.00, just for reading some emails I sent him between me and the CAS. Oh the best part was, attached to the bill he had the nerve to tell us to "Think of this adoption in very tentative terms." aka: I would look elsewhere to fulfill your dreams. Seriously? He spent aprox. 30 minutes reading some emails I forwarded to him...and then TOLD ME NOTHING I didn't already know.

How can people live with themselves - they should be ashamed!

ps: Paul just found out he is loosing his job do to his plant closing this coming winter. Things just get better and better for us every day!

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!