Well it's now Sunday and we have had the weekend to wrap our heads and hearts around this. So much has happened this week, I doubt we even fully grasped how monumental it was or is for that matter.
On Friday afternoon I got a call from the CAS Case Worker and she said that they have set up a meeting with *Tanya (the birthmother) in her home town on Friday at 10am. So this is really happening! We will be meeting our very first Birthmother in less then 5 days time.
Nervous? What ME?? Nahhhh!!!! lol!
Then on Friday evening I got a "Friends Request" from Birthmother on Facebook. She said in her message "I won't stop fighting until * Sadie is in your arms!!" This was really nice to read, as we had no way of knowing how she really felt about us. She told *Ann later that evening that although she was incredibly sad to be loosing yet another daughter - she was happy and relieved with her decision in picking Paul and I to adopt her.
We have been warned however by the CAS case worker, that she may wish to review other couples profiles - so we need to be ready for that. I think that CAS will encourage her to look at others so that she is confident with her ultimate decision whatever that may turn out to be.
Now for the hard question: Our CAS worker has asked us to have some names ready as the Birthmother will be asking us what we plan on calling her. We have agreed to keep her first name and use it as her middle name - but we would like to give her a fresh new start with a fresh new name. We have shortened our list down to 7 names (actually 6 'cause one of them I am not %100 on).
I am still debating whether or not I will post them and get some opinions. But we are on the fence with this as names are such a personal thing that we may have to take this one on our own.
I'll keep you posted.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Life is like that!
So I didn't think I would be posting here this soon since my last post, as I didn't think I would have anything new to tell you, BUT as it turns out, there is a new chapter to this story of ours.
Isn't that always the way? Just when you think you are heading in one direction life throws you a curve ball and takes you in a completely different direction. I think the universe likes to remind us sometimes who is really in charge.
Seventeen months ago (after my final IVF treatment), when Paul and I first started this adoption journey we were lost. Not knowing what steps to take, feeling overwhelmed about the whole process. I mean I fancied myself quite the fertility expert; but adoption, I was out of my league here. 'Till one day at my dentist's office, I told her about our plans to adopt...She told me she had a patient who had adopted three beautiful children and if I wanted she would pass my number along to her. I thought that was a great idea. I mean who better to talk to about adoption than someone who has been through it three times herself. PERFECT! So five months later *Ann called me. She was great, and we hit it off instantly. She gave me advice on who to register with, contact names, social workers to call...I mean she was a regular encyclopedia of adoption information. Then she told me about her three children and gave me a brief history of their situations, particularly her youngest *Jessica. At that time she even told me that *Jessica's Birth Mother *Tanya was expecting again in December. I filed the information away but never thought much of it. I mean we were just "thinking" about adoption.
Fast forward 4 months later...it's now January and *Jessica's birth mother *Tanya has given birth to a beautiful perfect baby girl named *Sadie. *Tanya has every intention of keeping this child and parenting her, but to *Tania's dismay Children's Aid Society has other plans. *Sadie is placed in foster care. In the meantime *Ann has contacted us and told us of this situation. So Paul and I pressed forward with our adoption plans and got our homestudy completed in record time - Just in case *Tanya did decide to make an adoption plan for *Sadie then we would be ready and willing. It was a long shot at best, but we were hopeful. So hopeful in fact that we went out and bought clothes, a stroller, and a car seat...Hell we even decorated her nursery! I know, I know - crazy!!! But low and behold, we never heard anything from *Tanya, and Paul and I finally had to come to the realization that it was time to move on.
Fast forward again to present day...We just sent in our application for Vietnam. Worse yet, we sent in our $$$$$ to Vietnam. We are on the list, we are happy and waiting for approval...
Then out of the blue I get an email from *Ann. She says that *Tanya has asked her if we would still be interested in adopting little *Sadie. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I mean we had given up on that scenario all together. But when you ask the universe for something it never stops working for you...sometimes it takes a little longer, but it does its best to get you what you asked for. So, 9 months after this whole thing began we have come full circle. *Tanya is considering us to parent *Sadie, and the best part is, that CAS appears to be on board as well. They feel it is in the best interest of *Sadie to keep close ties with *Jessica (her biological sister), and because of the friendship that *Ann and I had cultivated, we made a promise to keep the girls close to each other.
Update: CAS just called me a few minutes ago and they are going to try and squeeze us into their PRIDE class (that we must take in order to adopt any child from CAS)..so that is good news. I doubt they would go to that trouble if they did not think we were a good match for *Sadie.
So to wrap up, two days ago we were just another couple on the road to adoption, knowing it would take two years or more before we would bring our little girl home from Vietnam. Now we are hopeful to be parents by Christmas. Life Is Just Like That I Guess!!!
*The names in this story have been changed to protect their privacy.
Isn't that always the way? Just when you think you are heading in one direction life throws you a curve ball and takes you in a completely different direction. I think the universe likes to remind us sometimes who is really in charge.
Seventeen months ago (after my final IVF treatment), when Paul and I first started this adoption journey we were lost. Not knowing what steps to take, feeling overwhelmed about the whole process. I mean I fancied myself quite the fertility expert; but adoption, I was out of my league here. 'Till one day at my dentist's office, I told her about our plans to adopt...She told me she had a patient who had adopted three beautiful children and if I wanted she would pass my number along to her. I thought that was a great idea. I mean who better to talk to about adoption than someone who has been through it three times herself. PERFECT! So five months later *Ann called me. She was great, and we hit it off instantly. She gave me advice on who to register with, contact names, social workers to call...I mean she was a regular encyclopedia of adoption information. Then she told me about her three children and gave me a brief history of their situations, particularly her youngest *Jessica. At that time she even told me that *Jessica's Birth Mother *Tanya was expecting again in December. I filed the information away but never thought much of it. I mean we were just "thinking" about adoption.
Fast forward 4 months later...it's now January and *Jessica's birth mother *Tanya has given birth to a beautiful perfect baby girl named *Sadie. *Tanya has every intention of keeping this child and parenting her, but to *Tania's dismay Children's Aid Society has other plans. *Sadie is placed in foster care. In the meantime *Ann has contacted us and told us of this situation. So Paul and I pressed forward with our adoption plans and got our homestudy completed in record time - Just in case *Tanya did decide to make an adoption plan for *Sadie then we would be ready and willing. It was a long shot at best, but we were hopeful. So hopeful in fact that we went out and bought clothes, a stroller, and a car seat...Hell we even decorated her nursery! I know, I know - crazy!!! But low and behold, we never heard anything from *Tanya, and Paul and I finally had to come to the realization that it was time to move on.
Fast forward again to present day...We just sent in our application for Vietnam. Worse yet, we sent in our $$$$$ to Vietnam. We are on the list, we are happy and waiting for approval...
Then out of the blue I get an email from *Ann. She says that *Tanya has asked her if we would still be interested in adopting little *Sadie. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I mean we had given up on that scenario all together. But when you ask the universe for something it never stops working for you...sometimes it takes a little longer, but it does its best to get you what you asked for. So, 9 months after this whole thing began we have come full circle. *Tanya is considering us to parent *Sadie, and the best part is, that CAS appears to be on board as well. They feel it is in the best interest of *Sadie to keep close ties with *Jessica (her biological sister), and because of the friendship that *Ann and I had cultivated, we made a promise to keep the girls close to each other.
Update: CAS just called me a few minutes ago and they are going to try and squeeze us into their PRIDE class (that we must take in order to adopt any child from CAS)..so that is good news. I doubt they would go to that trouble if they did not think we were a good match for *Sadie.
So to wrap up, two days ago we were just another couple on the road to adoption, knowing it would take two years or more before we would bring our little girl home from Vietnam. Now we are hopeful to be parents by Christmas. Life Is Just Like That I Guess!!!
*The names in this story have been changed to protect their privacy.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Life is full of twists and turns...
So after making the BIG decision to abandon fertility treatments, we began our journey towards adoption. Once that decision was made we decided to adopt internationally from Vietnam. It was a no-brainer for us, as a colleague of mine adopted from TDH approx. 10 years ago. Paul and I had the pleasure of spending Christmas with my colleague and her daughter Victoria while on a layover in BC over 5 years ago now. We fell in love with her - she was spunky and outgoing, friendly and beautiful in every way. We said "ironically"..."if we ever adopt we would like to adopt from Vietnam..." WHO KNEW?
So, in early October of 2007 we contacted a social worker and after much discussion we were persuaded (by friends and family etc...) to adopt privately (even after we had attended International Adoption Seminars etc...). We were told that because of our age (34yrs) we would have a good shot at private adoption. We were told we were "A Shiny Couple"... so we were convinced. We knew the competition was stiff but we were up for the challenge. Private it was!!! We completed our private adoption homestudy and registered with 4 different agencies ($$$$). In March of 2008 we were contacted 3 seperate times in the space of a week to be told we were being considered. We were over the moon that week and then down in the dumps, and then over the moon and then down in the dumps and then....well you get the picture, as they say, close only counts in horseshoes and in the end the birth mothers went with other couples. We came so close at one point I even decorated the nursery and bought our new little girl her first wardrobe. Lesson Learned - what is it that they say "Chickens should not be counted before they hatch..." Wise Words!!
So after 9 long months of waiting and waiting, and waiting some more, we finally got the call - only it was not the call we had thought we would get. It was our Vietnam Agency (TDH) calling to tell us that we had made it up to the primary list and we should send in our homestudy and application. So a decision needed to be made....Private? or International? What to do, what to do?? In the end we decided to go with International as it was our first love and our first instinct...it was also a sure bet 'cause we had learned how unpredictable the world of private adoption can be. So we called up our SW and asked her to do an amendment and make our homestudy "Internationally Friendly"($$$).
Problem: Our home visit had an expiry date of September 02, 2008. So I called TDH and asked them to fire it off to the Ministry ASAP before our documents expired and we had to shell out more cash to keep it up to date. They agreed and our docket was sent off on August 28th. Here's hoping it gets there in time and does not prove to be expired by the time they get to look at it.
Stay tuned....
So, in early October of 2007 we contacted a social worker and after much discussion we were persuaded (by friends and family etc...) to adopt privately (even after we had attended International Adoption Seminars etc...). We were told that because of our age (34yrs) we would have a good shot at private adoption. We were told we were "A Shiny Couple"... so we were convinced. We knew the competition was stiff but we were up for the challenge. Private it was!!! We completed our private adoption homestudy and registered with 4 different agencies ($$$$). In March of 2008 we were contacted 3 seperate times in the space of a week to be told we were being considered. We were over the moon that week and then down in the dumps, and then over the moon and then down in the dumps and then....well you get the picture, as they say, close only counts in horseshoes and in the end the birth mothers went with other couples. We came so close at one point I even decorated the nursery and bought our new little girl her first wardrobe. Lesson Learned - what is it that they say "Chickens should not be counted before they hatch..." Wise Words!!
So after 9 long months of waiting and waiting, and waiting some more, we finally got the call - only it was not the call we had thought we would get. It was our Vietnam Agency (TDH) calling to tell us that we had made it up to the primary list and we should send in our homestudy and application. So a decision needed to be made....Private? or International? What to do, what to do?? In the end we decided to go with International as it was our first love and our first instinct...it was also a sure bet 'cause we had learned how unpredictable the world of private adoption can be. So we called up our SW and asked her to do an amendment and make our homestudy "Internationally Friendly"($$$).
Problem: Our home visit had an expiry date of September 02, 2008. So I called TDH and asked them to fire it off to the Ministry ASAP before our documents expired and we had to shell out more cash to keep it up to date. They agreed and our docket was sent off on August 28th. Here's hoping it gets there in time and does not prove to be expired by the time they get to look at it.
Stay tuned....
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