Happy New Year!!!

I just wanted to go on record saying that 2008 was not my favorite year ever and we wish that 2009 will be a whole lot better, bringing with it a whole new set of opportunities for us.

Top 10 reasons I hated 2008:
10.Found out that 'Lead' in our drinking water was likely the cause for our infertility - thought about suing the city. (that didn't work out)
9.Attempted to adopt a baby back in March (that didn't work out)
8.We were present 3 separate times to birthmothers (none of those worked out)
7.We burned through a whack load of money to support our "adoption project" and well ...(that didn't work out)
6.Put an offer in on our dream house and lost in a bidding war
5.Paul found out he is loosing his job - GREAT!!!
4.Our house is falling down around us - ceiling is caving in in our kitchen!
3.We put the bulk of our adoption fund into Vietnam and then we bailed out at the 11th hour loosing most of our investment
2.We are told by CAS we are getting a baby - then we are not - then we are - then we are not - then we are (well you get the picture - needless to say - THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT)
And the #1 reason 2008 sucked...

I gained yet another 10lbs!

So here is to the future and never looking back - WELCOME 2009!!!

Happy New Year!!!!

ps: 2008 did bring us Ruby and for that I will always be grateful. She is the light in our lives - even if she is the million dollar dog! We love you Noodle!

Bad Santa!

I tried so hard to be a good girl all year long - but Santa still did not see fit to leave me a baby under the tree this year (like I asked him for). Ho Hum!

I am not sure if there really is a Santa afterall!

Better luck next year I guess.

But just in case, I will never stop believing in him....you never know when he might be willing to grant you a wish.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Here's what happened yesterday...

"Hello Meagan & Paul,
We have a birth mom who is due January 6 and we have all the information now to move forward with finding a good match for her.
BirthMom:
This is an excellent situation from our viewpoint - mom is in her late teens, very healthy, has good family support
*presently in Gr 12
*had some LD in school and on an Indiv. Educ. Plan (IEP)

Alcohol/ Drug use during pregnancy:
* 3-4 shots of "malibu with juice" once in may and once in June before she knew she was pregnant, nothing since
*taking vitamins
*ultrasound shows no anomolies

BirthFather: - was not eager to participate in the beginnings program, but has come around really nicely and gave us history this week
*he wants a DNA test to confirm (but mom states he is the one)
*LOVES sports, so wants this in his adoptive family to be active and like outdoors, sports
*active, volunteers to keep busy, likes strategy games
*doing an apprenticeship
*family all know about this pregnancy and have discussed options, he agrees to move forward with adoption.
DNA will be done after baby is born and will be back likely by time of signing consents (after 8th day)

I have scanned our list for couples who would be a good fit for this young couple - like the outdoors,http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif sports etc... and your profile came up.

Please let me know if you want to be presented for this one, I hope to present 5-6 couples for these young people to find the best fit.
I know this is a busy time for you and I am sorry to do this at Christmastime, but the baby is due and we just cleared all the birth father issues, so we can now move forward.
Let me know,
Regards"

So based on what Paul and I have been through this past week/month here was our response to her...


"Hello,

Upon re-reading your email it appears that Paul and I have everything they are looking for..
eg: Our Love of outdoor sports and board games (all there in our profile and our dear Birth Family letter).

We would be anxious to know if we have made the short list - aka: being presented to this couple. It has been almost a year since our journey began and we feel no closer now then we did 10 month ago. Is there any hope?

Merry Christmas!
Hope to hear from you soon,"

Here was her response:

"Hello folks,
Just getting back to you on this message today -
Yes, we are presenting you today to the birth mom and dad. Hopefully we will know today, but she may want to take a bit of time to think about her choice. As soon as I know I will email you to say what her plans are.
I know it is very hard to have to wait for this, especially this time of year. I do appreciate your ability to put yourselves forward and to take the risk. Yes, there is certainly hope, it is just a matter of time to find the right fit for you. I will try to present you as often as I can.
All the best"

Holy Cow!!! Can this really be happening - after all these months - is it possible our luck could be changing???

"Hi Megan,
I just got off the phone with Sherry our counsellor and she said our birth mom has chosen another couple - I am so sorry to disappoint you folks on this one after raising your hopes so close to Christmas.
However, I do have 2 other birth moms who are looking for families very soon, so I will let you know about their histories as soon as I have them ready to sent to you maybe later next week.
Keep your hopes high, this one just was not for you, but the next time.................
Blessings!"

Guess Not!!

You won't believe this...

We last left off with waiting for Auntie-smokes-a-lot to get back to CAS re: her adoption plans for Sadie. Well as it turns out we didn't even have to wait till Friday December 19th for that answer. She contacted CAS on Tuesday December 16th, and told them that she was one hundred percent not interested in adopting little Sadie. WoooooWhooooooo! So CAS then called me on Tuesday afternoon (just as I was about to step on to an airplane for the next three days) and said "Auntie is out and you guys are IN! Can you come and meet Sadie tomorrow and spend the afternoon with her? ...possibly spend this coming weekend with her as well..."
I could not believe my ears - after all this time and waiting this was really happening - we were finally going to meet our daughter. Unfortunately, Wednesday was not going to work for me as I was just about to leave on a cross Canada tour of duty (airline talk) - so, as much as it pained me to postpone the meeting for one more day, I asked her if we could do it on Thursday instead of Wednesday. She said that would fine and would call me Wednesday with the details.
I called Paul and told him the incredible news (he was over the moon of course) - then We called our moms, our friends/family - hell I even called Sylvie at 2:30 in the morning to share it with her. Can you say we were ecstatic??
So Wednesday, just like clock work, my phones rings with news regarding Thursday's appointment...
...She says "I have some BAD NEWS..."
WHAT? BUT HOW?? THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING??? NOT AGAIN!!!! NOOOOOOO!
But Yes, THIS was happening AGAIN - CAS had decided it would not be a good idea to go ahead with visits at this time because the birthmom is no longer supporting this adoption plan.
How does that make a difference you ask? Great Question!
We had been told over and over again that it is ultimately not the birthmothers decision where or with who Sadie ends up. While, they appreciate her input - it is ultimately CAS's decision where Sadie ends up and WE have been chosen as THE BEST FAMILY for her. So, no matter how many times the birthmother changes her mind - CAS has the final say as to where this little girl ends up.
All that being said CAS still does not want to 'go behind the birthmothers back and risk upsetting her by starting visits that she does not approve of.'
EUREKA!!! Now I get it - it hits me between the eyes like a hammer!
They don't want to upset 'birthmommy' cause then she may not be so inclined to play by their rules - aka: support the crown wardship. If she decides to contest wardship then CAS will end up in TRIAL. What does TRIAL mean for CAS.???
That's right - TRIAL equals MONEY $$$$$. So for the sake of a few dollars they will let little Sadie sit in TEMPORARY FOSTER CARE (for however long) so as not to upset the "birthmommy-apple-cart". I know what you are thinking... UNBELIEVABLE right!?
It really is unbelievable and if I were you reading this right now I would think the author was making it up for dramatic purpose. But you would be wrong my friends, this is %100 bonifide fact. No Fiction Here!
So to summarise this horror story, this is the third time we have been promised our child only to have her taken away at the 11th hour.
But please make no mistake: Children's Aids primary concern is the best interest of the child. This is clearly evident from my story. Never has there been more proof to support a thesis. (insert Sarcasm tone here)

Paul and I have some serious thinking to do about whether or not we can continue down this road of torture. I know life is not fair - everyone learns this at a ripe young age - but never have we experienced such injustice (over and over and over again).

Perhaps we need to set our bar a little higher. They say you are dealt in life things that you are willing to put up with - so perhaps we should not be so willing to put up with this charade anymore - see what comes of that.

Hmmmm?? That's some food for thought.

The wait continues....

A week has gone by since my last post - and I finally have a bit of news to report. We had hoped that we would be meeting with our adoption worker on Friday and she would finally have something concrete to tell us but ALAS the birthmother decided not to show up for her visit last Thursday as she was "Sick" and could not make it in. She was going to that meeting to tell all workers involved what her she wanted to see come of this adoption - you see she has been changing her mind about Paul and I lately. By this I mean she has decided she would like to view other families as perspective parents for "Sadie". She can be fickle and we pretty much expected this to happen (if things took too long with this process we knew she might change her mind about us). Remember she has some mental health issues so we are not shocked by this new development....anyways, our workers wanted to sit her down and ask her exactly why she had submitted a 'challenge to crown wardship order' (aka: she has decided to fight for custody of Sadie) and why she has changed her mind about us. I can tell you that our mind was put at ease by our case worker that no matter what or who birthmom decides on, "there is no better family for Sadie then Paul or I". These are words from our worker...so we do not have to worry about the birthmom and her waivering views. Although, this could delay our adoption even further should she decide to take this to trial. Bummer!!
...Anyways, back to our meeting on Friday - it was said that they have still not heard a word back from Auntie-Smokes-A-Lot regarding her long term plans for Sadie, and they have sent out a registered letter asking her to reply to them by December 19th or this plan would be considered "dead in the water". This is good news for Paul and I as it means that we finally have a deadline we can put on our calendar. Then the best part of the news is IF Auntie-Smokes-A-Lot does not get back to them by next Friday and misses her deadline then we finally get to meet Sadie and get the ball rolling for some visits. Very exciting!!

So everyone out there needs to say a little prayer that Auntie does not answer back and we can be on our way to meeting our little girl.

Stay tuned...

Nothing New - just thought I would let you know I am still alive.

I just thought I would check in and post a little something so that you all don't think I have finally jumped off that bridge I have been threatning to jump off of...
So here is our latest news:
Paul and I have completed our updated (3rd time is a charm) homestudy and we get to meet with our Social Worker on Friday December 12th. We were also told that, God willing, by then we should have some information about Auntie-Smokes- A- Lot and whether or not she plans on adopting "Sadie" or not. We were asked by our Adoption worker to confirm again that we are willing to travel 2-3 times a week to bring Sadie to her meetings with her Birthmom and meetings with the Family Service Worker. We told them, weather permiting that we were happy to do so.
Paul and I like to think that she would not have asked us to confirm this if they were not planning on making a move very shortly. She promised that her department would have a meeting with regards to Sadie this week and will have a decision before Christmas for us.
We are not holding our breath but we are hopeful that SOMETHING might happend before the 25th.

Do we believe in Christmas Miracles - I like to think so!